Top 10 Weirder and Kinkier Things Bats Do Than Sucking Blood

No Pee-Free Zone Here

Urine showers, anyone? Certain species of bats have been known to anoint themselves with their own urine. Yeah, that’s right. Bats use their own urine to scent themselves. This behavior, known as “urine-wash,” partly explains the thick cloud of foul-smelling air that surrounds bat colonies and definitely explains the smell of individual bats.

Get to the (Penis) Point

At least 14 bat species have barbed penises or penile spines, with some barbs reaching 1 centimeter (0.4 inches) in length. Yikes! The hoary bat has penis barbs that are 6.6% of its body length. That’s the same as a 183-centimeter-tall (6-foot) man having 12-centimeter-long (4.7-inch) barbs on his penis. Yikes again!

Lending a Helping…Hand

Bats are known to be very sexually active, and they have been known to masturbate several times a day. Not only do they take care of themselves, but they help their friends out too. Mutual masturbation is common between male as well as female bats.

It’s the Summer of Love…All the Time

By now, I think it’s pretty clear that bats are very enthusiastic about sex. Besides the copious amounts of sex that goes on between male and female bats, it’s common practice for bats to play for the other team whenever possible. Groups of male bats have been caught in the act, as well as groups of female bats rubbing their lady parts on each other.

The House of Guano

Bats live in squalor. They have an extremely fast metabolism and have to constantly eat to keep their energy levels high. But a fast metabolism also means a quick digestive system. So this means bats frequently have to pee and poo, no matter when, where, or who it’s on. Bats excrete some type of solid or fluid roughly every 20 minutes.

Rap Sheet: Spreading Disease

Bats can be disease carriers. They carry diseases such as ABLV (Australian Bat Lyssavirus), which causes a fatal rabies-like disease in humans. (Although people are hardly ever directly infected from bats). They also carry the Hendra virus, which they transfer to horses and, in turn, to us. Histoplasmosis, a rare lung infection, can be picked up from the droppings in bat caves.

For a Good Time…

Fruit bats seem to enjoy using their long tongues for other things besides licking fruit. They are one of the few animals known to engage in oral sex, and nobody knows exactly why they do it. Scientists say that it could be to help with stimulation, lubrication, or maybe they just enjoy it (can’t really blame them, can you).

It’s a Smelly Life

Bats are very smelly creatures and use their smell as a means of communication. They have glands on their necks, which they use to scent themselves, as well as the things around them. Mother bats may use scenting to identify their young in a crowded area, while others may do it to recognize each other or find mates.

And Now for the Blood

What is a bat list without mentioning the infamous vampire bat? Do not fear, readers. I won’t bore you with the usual facts about vampire bats that you already learned about in preschool. What I will say is that vampire bats hardly ever use humans as a source of blood. They usually use cows, chickens, or sheep as hosts. Some even pretend to be baby chicks and snuggle up to the mother hen, proceeding to drink some of her blood. But the creepiest thing about vampire bats is that they tend to return to the same host they drank from the previous night.

But It’s Not All Sex and Disease

Now for some information that doesn’t paint bats as the bad guys. Bats are vital to many ecosystems as well as our crop industry. Bats keep fruit and crop-eating pests under control, saving farmers billions of dollars in pesticides and destroyed crops. So really, bats are good for the economy too. Who would’ve thought!