Ecology Professor Theorizes Loch Ness Monster May Just Be Whale Penis

An ecology professor has just come up with a theory about the Loch Ness Monster that is sure to stimulate controversy.

Michael Sweet, who is a professor in molecular ecology at the University of Derby, recently suggested on Twitter that “Nessie” isn’t a monster at all, but just a whale penis.

Sweet said that many sea monster stories reported by explorers were inspired by what he called “tentacled and alienesque appendages emerging from the water.”

But while many of the observers may have believed the appendages breaking the ocean surface might be part of something “more sinister lurking beneath,” Sweet said that in many cases, “it was just whale dicks.”

Sadly, Nessie was unavailable to comment on the whale penis hypothesis, but, to be fair, its just the latest theory to pop up about the probably mythical Scottish creature. Back in 2019, researchers suspected the creature was really a giant eel, while one local man claimed it was just a giant catfish.